creating emotional flow

To find peace, to find our inner calm and be at one with the world, we must learn to recognize, accept and let go of our emotions. This is a tricky bit of business as typically the ego steadfastly refuses to cooperate.

Expressing our feelings can be a scary, nearly paralyzing challenge. Resistance to recognizing and admitting our emotions is rooted in fear. Fear of rejection, of being ridiculed, of being judged; fear of any reciprocal emotion outside of our zone of comfort; creates a stern defense that we often don't know we are deploying. So this fear becomes suppressed and is masked within the rational mind; it goes underground. Warranted or not, real or imagined, our fears are relegated to the subconscious and begin to direct our motivation irrationally. This leads us to say and do things that create distance or close us off from others without realizing that we are doing it.

Alone with our fragmented, separated thinking we begin to wonder if we are in charge or our own lives. Resentments build, habitual animosities arise and casual comments turn into personal slights. Our relationships begin to crumble. To cope we may turn to drink, drugs ("I don't have an addiction, it's a prescription!"), or a whole grab bag of behavioral addictions from sex to shopping and downward we spiral. These days it seems everyone has a symptom, a compulsion, or a disorder to obsess about. It's as though we have created our own snuggly blanket of neurotic excuses for our behavior and yet refuse to take action on the underlying issue feeding all the pain: fear.

When your emotions do not flow with ease you build up emotional friction. This friction creates tension and resistance. Emotional resistance is similar to swimming against a rushing current. It is an exhausting and ultimately futile exercise. By acknowledging and accepting your emotions you will flow through life with greater ease. But first you need to get over the fear of drowning; your emotions will not overwhelm you. It is the suppression of emotions that makes them seem so overpowering. But they are not. Emotions only attain the power you give them.

When a feeling arises you have the chance to notice its nuances. You can observe all the qualities of the feeling. Bringing awareness to the feeling instead of resisting it will dissolve your fear and leave you open to living each moment. When you are fluid with emotional energy, you allow yourself to feel any feeling, knowing that peace is always on the other side. By allowing emotional energy to flow without resistance, you become a more loving person.

A simple equation to understand the physics of emotion is: Resistance = Stress = Breakdown. If you can clear the resistance to feeling an emotion, you can eliminate the stress and breakdown. Breakdown can be reflected in a full spectrum of experiences, ranging from communication failures to serious compromise of your physical and psychological health. And sometimes you will notice unmistakable symbolic signs: your car will break down, your cell phone will stop working, your computer will crash, or a favorite memento will break. These signs are all around us all the time if we choose to see. Conversely, positive messages and synchronicities occur when you accept the flow of your feelings. An unexpected letter, information that reinforces something you were working on, a business deal out of the blue, an article seemingly from nowhere that illuminates a problem; all these are signs that you are going with the energetic flow of the universe. Some call it synergy, others call it good luck. In the Eastern philosophies it is called the Tao.

Be open to the messages.

14 things you can do move from emotional resistance to emotional flow

• Always keep your word.
• Forgive yourself and others.
• Find a good therapist.
• Tell a dark secret to a true friend.
• Express appreciation a dozen times daily.
• Write letters to those who have hurt you; but don't mail them.
• Write letters of apology to those you have hurt; and mail them.
• Make a list of your faults.
• Live without expectation of reward.
• Go one entire day without criticizing anything.
• Listen more than you speak.
• Let go of your inhibitions; there is no right or wrong.
• Don't judge.
• Practice letting go of your ego.

Jared Rosen and David Rippe are coauthors of The Flip; Turn Your World Around, Hampton Roads Publishing Company. They can be reached at www.theflip.net or 513-253-4854.