the findbliss guide to spa etiquette

We all know that the best spas are designed for people to find bliss and rejuvenation (or maybe just a fab pedicure). But spas can also be intimate theatres of human behavior, where therapists, technicians and certain types of equipment have the power to heal you, hurt you, or leave you otherwise disappointed. After a decade of reporting on spas for such magazines as InStyle, Spa magazine and Healing Lifestyles & Spas, I've formulated several do's and don'ts for ensuring the best possible spa visit.

1. When you book your appointments, make sure you understand the cancellation policy. Some spas require 24 hour notice and charge you full fee if you fail to advise them in time of a change of plans. Other spas are happy if you give them same day notice.

2. If you are going to a resort or destination spa, be sure to book your spa appointments at least two weeks in advance of your visit. Check out what's on offer at the spa's Web site or have them mail or fax a spa menu to you. If you wait until you arrive at the property, you may never be able to schedule the spa treatment that you want, when you want.

3. If you are late for a spa appointment, realize that the person who is working on you is on a timetable. Accordingly they may not be able to make up for your lost time. By all means, apologize to them for this and wait for them to say whether they give you a full-length appointment or not.

4. Be careful about how you book back-to-back treatments so you can reap their full benefits. I once made the mistake of having an essential oil massage immediately before I floated in an isolation tank. I hated having to shower off all that lovely lavender oil before I went into the tank. Next time, I'll schedule massage after the float.

5. Before a massage, clearly communicate with your therapist regarding the degree of pressure you desire. Warn them of spots where you need them to go easy or apply deeper pressure. If they hurt you during the treatment, tell them politely and IMMEDIATELY to stop.

6. If a therapist continues to hurt you, get off the table, go to the front desk and ask to speak to the spa manager. Explain the situation and politely but firmly ask for a refund so that you can book a new massage with a kinder, gentler therapist.

7. The same rules apply to therapists whose touch is so subtle that you don't feel like the massage is doing anything for your body. Everyone has off days, even massage therapists. One of the most nowhere massages I ever experienced was at a top-rated destination spa that had won several awards from Conde Nast Traveler and other magazines. I gently asked the therapist to put a little more pressure into it and she never rose to the occasion. I rolled off the table in mid-massage and gently explained my experience to the lady at the front desk. She kindly booked me another massage.

8. If you are unsure about the authenticity of a specific spa treatment and the training of a therapist, ask to see the CV of the therapist who usually gives that treatment. In a de luxe resort spa where I was once considering getting some Ayurvedic treatments, I checked a CV to find out where the therapist had studied Ayurveda. It turned out that they had never formally studied Ayurveda anytime, anywhere.

9. Shave your legs TWO DAYS BEFORE you are to float in an isolation tank or receive a salt scrub, a mud wrap, body wrap or a massage. Shaving even the night before a treatment can leave you with tiny cuts that can hurt like hell during a salt, mud or other treatment. I have a friend who suffered after her newly-shaved legs got infected from bacteria in a mud wrap. Yuck: if something like this happens to you, don't say I didn't warn you.

10. A similar rule to the one directly above applies to facials: have eyebrows and/or upper lip plucked or waxed two days before you are booked for a facial.

11. BYOFF: bring your own flip flops and wear them by the pool, in the showers and everywhere else. For the hygiene-conscious or the simply paranoid, bringing your own flip flops can allay fears of picking up a weird fungus or bacteria from sandals supplied by the spa.

12. Drink plenty of water before and after treatments. Various forms of massage or body work, such as salt scrub/massage combos, or Ayurvedic modalities, can be very detoxifying, tiring and thirst-making. Drinking water helps you stay balanced and relaxed.

13. If you enjoy a sauna, steam room, hot tub or Jacuzzi, you must drink plenty of water before, during and after the experience. I once helped a young woman who fainted in the Jacuzzi due to dehydration.

14. BYOR: bring your own reading, just in case you are bored by the usual beauty and women's mags that are stocked in spa lounges. Do not bring your laptop to work on in the spa lounge. You'll remind everyone else of the workday world that they are trying to leave behind.

15. Read ALL signs in the spa and behave accordingly. For example, if a sign says "Deluge Shower" and you have bad balance, don't risk getting knocked off your feet. I once saw a fit-looking woman stumble from the surprising force of a deluge shower. Fortunately, her friend caught her as she fell and saved her from totally wiping out on the tiles.

16. Remember to tip the people who work on you. Spa therapists and technicians work long hours on their feet and often serve ungrateful grouches who are stingy, to boot. Besides rewarding a job well done, a tip encourages employees to do their best in this sometimes challenging and often modestly paid field.

17. Absolutely arrive ten to fifteen minutes early. Check in and hang out in the quiet spa lounge and have a cup of tea, a glass of water-- or close your eyes and meditate.

18. If someone gave you especially outstanding service, write them a short note to thank them and send a copy to their manager. A good spa manager welcomes feedback, especially when it is positive. How else are they going to know how pleased you are unless you put it in writing and tell their supervisor? This may also ensure a warm welcome on your next visit.

In reality, the majority of spas are quite accommodating when it comes to satisfying their clients. If there is a treatment that you want that is not on the menu, ask the spa manager if they can provide it for you. You have nothing to lose by asking, and nothing but bliss to gain.