Guilt as an Ally

Is there anything you’ve been feeling guilty about? Have you slipped with your New Year’s resolutions? Or maybe you feel guilty you didn’t make any? Or is there a task you tell yourself you’re going to do but keep putting it off? 

Many of us have been conditioned to use guilt in unhealthy ways. It is not necessary, useful, or enjoyable to use guilt to beat yourself up. After all, you are doing the best that you can! 

Rather than an enemy, experience guilt as an ally supporting you in finding an avenue to bliss. Consider guilt a friendly reminder that you are out of alignment or integrity with yourself. If you experience guilt, greet it as a friend. Imagine your new friend as an ally simply tapping you on the shoulder letting you know “Buddy, you’re out of alignment.” 

If we say we are going to do something (internal commitment) but then we don’t follow through (outer action) we get out of alignment with ourselves and further away from our bliss. This could be guilt from an un-realized resolution like “I am going to eat less carbs” or a personal aspiration “I am going to meditate everyday!” or a specific action “I am going to clean out the garage.” When your inner commitment doesn’t match your outer actions, you may experience guilt. Great! That’s wonderful, it’s a healthy reminder. 

Next time guilt taps you on the shoulder, thank it, and find out where you are out of alignment and then adjust. 

Now here’s the icing on the cake. Getting into alignment doesn’t mean you have to do the thing you said you are going to do. To get back in integrity, you can adjust the inside or the outside. So instead of cleaning out the garage as an outside action, you can simply renegotiate your agreement with yourself, telling yourself inside that you are not going to do that (I like to add it to my “Someday Maybe” List, a wonderful trick I learned from David Allen or “I am going to meditate everyday!” can be renegotiated to “I don’t think that’s realistic, how about we meditate at least four times a week?”

Guilt can support you in re-navigating towards greater bliss by moving into alignment in yourself. Being in alignment or in integrity with ourselves produces greater energy and vitality, greater upliftment, and a healthier and happier relationship with ourselves. 

Practice:

If you experience guilt this week: 

1. Lovingly welcome it. “Hi… ”

2. Ask Guilt where or how you are out of alignment (how your outer actions aren’t matching your internal agreement).

3. Decide which you’d like to adjust (inside agreement / thought or the outer action).

4. Adjust accordingly. 

5. Thank Guilt for pointing it out.

In the comment area below, please share with us, your comments about this blog and your experience with this topic. We also encourage you to let us know about other areas that you’d like feedback, support, and coaching with as you continue to find your bliss.    

Dr. Cindy Lou Golin is a Life Coach with over 15 years of experience in the field of personal growth, offering an eclectic and expansive repertoire of personal growth techniques. In addition to working with clients over the phone, she has private practices in both L.A. and Miami Beach. She has a PhD in Transpersonal Psychology, Master’s degrees in Counseling Psychology and Spiritual Psychology, as well as graduate certificates in Clinical Psychology, Creative Expression, Soul-Centered Leadership, and Spiritual Guidance. In addition to Life Coaching, Dr. Golin facilitates workshops and corporate trainings, teaches graduate school courses, is a business coach, certified Fire Walk instructor and is founder of Reel Discovery, a program that teaches and facilitates the process of movie-going as a personal growth practice. For more information visit www.cindylougolin.com